#And im brushed off or they say they get it... And then dont ... Do it...
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Fernando instinctively trying to protect his boyfriend Seb from the champagne spray
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#im suddenly very brainrotted abt them again....#i mean rbh when am i not! just suddenly posting again#this has been in my gallery for a while but finally posted it#only HE can spray champagne on his rival okay 🙄🙄🙄#possessive much??#me when i read into things too much 🙉#I DONT CARE!! ITS SO CUTE TO ME#its not even like him preemptively trying to avoid getting sprayed#like no its very much him trying to help seb block the spray imo#i feel like you can almost see him say 'stop' but maybe thats a bit too delusional shfjkg#i wish i could post a vettonso clip every day 😔#grrrrrrrrr i wonder if their fingers brushed in the last pic.......#theres smth so cute to me abt fernando up on the podium#kinda waiting to pour it on seb#and then seb going up there to dutifully receive his champagne shower#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#2013 canadian gp#i meant to gif a race tonight and i didn't so posting this instead!#* i just realized you can see seb reach for his hat and then abort when lewis sprays him#i bet he was gonna take it off and let fernando pour it on his hair and then prob shake like a dog like he usually does....#i feel like ive been edged now 😔😔😔😔
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I know that someone said this before, but if you DID make an X-Men au comic run which eras of the series would inspire these comics, how would you write them, and would you have Magneto or some other major villain as the main antagonist?
maaaan i dont know... i can barely decide what i wanna have for lunch most days i just make silly one-off comics i dont got the brain capacity for all that....
#snap chats#ok fine ill actually try to answer the question but i must remind you all i have krill for brains#like.... my strengths lie in sitcom/slice-of-life tomfoolery idk.. dont ever depend on me to do anything serious ever....#maybe some new mutants version of jeff parker's First Class series if that makes sense.. just mags-and-the-kids shenanigans#because i love parker's First Class series tbh it's a great run for when i just wanna have fun and enjoy the charas yk#thats when i enjoy somethin best when i just picture everyone chillin and goin bout their day. rife with tomfoolery ofc...#when im not doing weirdly specific psycho analytic thinkings on them of course JELKVJAELKJLJ#drama's not too heavy and it's just fun and laughs for the most part. tho if i ever wrote anything id want a LIL drama...#listen i grew up with filipino soaps i gotta have an ounce of drama here its in my genes . to RIDICULOUS extents at that#but like over the most Unserious shit ever. like missing a concert date idk jVLAKJKLJVVKA#maybe one real super deep issue once in a blue moon to throw everyone off who's to say#orrr maybe a better version of that one what if where mags and charles find and raise the xmen together jELRKGJERAKLJ#as forrrr era influence.... guess 80's would be the ticket no... idk... maybe some 60's ham for flavor...#and MAIN antagonist ???? shrug. the government..... or some villain-of-the-week beat idk#tbh that part of new mutants where everyone gets depressed and despondent reminded me of my love for horror/existentialism#so maybe id subvert expectations with some horror... but again never depend on me to be serious about anything#on that horror note tho i did brush the idea of some wack plot where mags is just. REALLY deadset on making charles join his side#if i wanted to make mags a villain then yeah..... shrug dont listen to me...#OR HELL if marvels not going to do it im sending the boys to space fuck it. space adventures retirement time#idk !!!!!! i could never write a whole comic run or even a comic book i dont have the attention span/thoughtfulness for that#i am not very smart in that regard !!!!!!!! but i very much appreciate the belief that maybe i could do that thank you everyone jVAELVKJEAK
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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it's kind of sad getting back onto DeviantArt and seeing the flood of "AI Artists". When I used to frequent the site back in 2014? 2015? you'd see all levels of quality and experience on your feed, and you could tell that the majority of artists put time and effort and heart into everything they posted
Now, it's just muddled with ai. And don't get me wrong, the robots can churn out some cool stuff, but it's kinda frustrating, especially when you know some bot-wranglers don't tag it as AI, and you don't know what's a work of actual effort, and what's just an amalgamation of stolen art blended together by a prompt
#gahhhh i just cant with this#i dont want to sound gatekeepy and pissy but if you want to post great art and profit or gain a following you should learn and practice#not use a robot that steals pieces from established artists#i feel like it can have its place for visuals? like if you're trying to get inspiration or figure out how to describe a setting#and it can be -fun-#but its a problem when it's used as 'original work'#my first brush with this discourse was reading about the guy who won an art show with an AI piece and it made me so mad#'but-but i spent time carefully curating the prompts that make my robot servant do art' SHUT UP#what about the artists who spend YEARS learning their trade? to say less about the thought and planning and time in each individual piece#like im just a self-taught hobbyist but i can imagine those who get trained in fine art#and then get the rug yanked out by ai dudebros who claim their 'art' is just as valid#sorry for the rant this is one of the few things that actually pisses me off#tw rant#ai discourse
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This is what it feels like being a hex fan sometimes, like its not even a twitter issue (and in a sense its not necessarily an issue, sometimes ppl just wanna have fun n not spout theories n discussion 24/7! I get that!) but i feel like a lot of people r quick to write off aspects of the game and characters and insist that, despite it being a mullinsverse title, it's not that deep/things are surface level
#This goes for a lot of characters. you can already guess one of them since i defend his honor constantly here#but like. I've seen a lot of people brush off Irving as just 'the big bad' and insist theres nothing deeper to his character#than just being an abusive villain#he very much IS an abusive villain. Irving is not Irving if he isn't a metaphor for abuse in the video game industry#but that doesnt mean you can't. lets say. interpret his relationship with Lionel as something more than just 'ai assistant n his dev'#that doesnt mean you cant read inbetween the lines n point out *he cares about Lionel. and that a good chunk of his motivations r bc of him#Irving is rightfully hated but often times I get. nervous. that one of these days someone is gonna accuse me of being a sympathizer#or making him act 'ooc' or giving him grace when he doesnt deserve it#bc god forbid someone in a game where every character has layers. has layers#regardless: no discussion about Irving really leaves raw hatred or 'omg hes hot' anyways#Bryce is also a good example cause when he's not being a horrible yaoi fodder victim#Everyone just says 'Oh hes so nice! He's so kind! I feel bad for him!' and moves on#No one wants to pick apart that he's not a pure angelic soul who gets pushed around. that hes nuanced#and that there is very much commentary that ties to his black identity and the forced role of 'fighter'#To many Bryce's story is simple; got put in CAX and then he got out n granny died and it was REALLY bad#and then they dont care to analyze him further than that. i understand that the nature of the game leaves some characters underdeveloped#But there is still very much a lot to pick apart with every character in the game; sadly a lot of people don't care to do anything w/ it#feels like that en mass the fandom has this air of anti-discussion despite the source material. idk man idk#Im goin to bed early lol ive been tired ever since i got back from school#but yeah. my opinions
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I think I have avpd. I just relate a lot to the symptoms I've found and listening to people talk about it I resonate with too
#i saw some people say. despite having such an intense need for connection and belonging they just self sabotage and have a genuiene fear#i felt that so hard.#i know i have rocd but i never understood why it was so bad. why i always felt so alienated all the time#why i let myself just fall into the background. why i have such a naturally anxious demeanor and overthink comfortable silence.#i worry too much all the time about how im percieved and the fact that i dont fit in and i could never wrap my head around why#or why i push people away all the time for seemingly no reason. i even used to do it in highschool.#getting close to people. being vulnerable with them. its so so anxiety inducing for me.#i thought it was avoidant attachment but it feels like more than that. i dont know.#it would make sense ... im worried im faking it though. idk.#i want to ask my therapist what she thinks. i brought it up before but she kinda brushed it off as avoidant attachment#idk. ive been thinking about it a lot but i also dont want to fakeclaim.#diary
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Wonderful news, after a month of flossing almost every day, my gums are finally no longer bleeding every time I floss!! 😃
#speculation nation#which online says it should only take a week or two. but! i have gingivitis.#so a month is kinda expected BUT ALSO im genuinely happy that i do seem to be making progress#i hate flossing. but my dentist was like 'if you dont improve your dental habits you Will be losing teeth'#so like okayyyyyy ive been flossing most days and i got a tooth paste for shitty gums and ive been using a fluoride rinse#and the gum pockets aka how deep my gums go next to my teeth are still pretty deep#but stopping bleeding when i floss is the first sign of improvement. i will get healthier gums!!!#just need to keep the habit up. i swear i will show up to my next dentist appointment and get such a good grade#they'll congratulate me and tell me i did such a good job and then probably give me invisalign. and/or a tooth cap lol#both are things they mentioned at the last appointment. for things to do after i improved my gum health.#tooth cap for my tooth that is like a third just filling. bc i broke the tooth years back eating a sour patch kid lol#one of my molars. one of the four prong things just done broke off. prong is the wrong word but ya kno#anyways i have marvelously terrible dental health despite having been pretty good about brushing for a few years now#such is my lot in life. it's genetics. oh well it's getting better and that's what matters.
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#not feeling so great as of lately#i thought it was just that i was thinking about stuff at a too late of a time yesterday but now its morning and i still feel bad#sure i slept very badly so maybe its still that but idk it still doesnt feel great no matter what the reason is#i feel like. so annoying lately#and like yea maybe i am and it shouldnt matter yk like all that ur allowed to be annoying and just be urself and whatever#but it just of takes a lot out of u when u t talk about ur interests or ur day or smth ands like everyone just brushes it off or ignores u#and obviously im probably being dramatic like this is a busy time of the year!#and its not always about me and like other ppl have their reasons to do what they do u know#but it still feels bad :'))#also this isnt about like anyone specific its like a combination of little things that FEELS bad to ME not a thing someone else does#like i know ppl dont have to care about stuff yk i like that i KNOW they dont care about so like what do i expect#and i dont ever know what to say to stuff idk anything about either so its very understandable#but its took me years to like. talk about things i like without prompting so it feels like a big hit when i dont get any reaction back fsgsh#and thats not trying to blame anyone else either its not anybody elses fault im not good at something#i think my kind of insecurity is showing one of my friends had to reassure me that yes they do want to hear how im doing fsgsh#but im thankful for that it feels good to hear when ur feeling kind of unstable with ur relationships fshsh#also since i am feeling like. unstable on EVERY relationship i suspect its just seasonal depression or stress or something#still wont stop the brain from like trying to blame itself lmao#this is kind of stupid idk what im trying to even say here#my post#vent#maybe ill delete it later?? this feels stupid
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legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23
#so.#i fell into the fireplace lol#- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with#because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong#your body feels wrong.#i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18.#because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating#im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you.#but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb#or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning#i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic#so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?'#anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place#and my legs just gave out 😍#and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh#which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed#and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me'#and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed#and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh#and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok#💚#tw chronic illness#/ multiple sclerosis
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#there's all this talk in the show about the power he had over people but none about the women who had power over him#note im not saying that it excuses his shit either im just saying the eshow never really holds the women accountable#as a woman that annoys me#esp as one with a mom who has often made me feel worthless#i also found the writers to get way too insecure in s5 about how people viewed their main character that they felt the need to double down#give mc a sympathic backstory and will feel bad for him what were they expecting?#heck i felt kinda bad for beatrice and i dont hate her but her dad sucked you cant help but pity her esp as an old lady#angela diaz#scary women#she was so damn convincing#for a show about accountabiity its justall on one mans shoulder and it just doesnt feel like it was that fair shrugs#dont believe me?#ana his publist sexually assaults BJ#this is ignored and brushed off as if it never happened#beatrice his biggest abuser next to his father is given the sad old lady treatment that he acutally ends up being kind too#diane fucks pb who is with pickles and is mostly absolved of any wrong doing on her end#pc agrees to work with vance gets bj to a doc that gives him the opiums and does nothing to stop him from hurting gina#angela is gay the whole time and still fires herb then berates and offers a man who is mentally unstable more alchhol#it also felt tacked on in ep 10 of s5 to me like it came of super insecure#oh he def did shitty sshit that is unforgiveable but it felt like they were just throwing a bunc of random x//a/s to double down
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i wish financial abuse and forced dependence weren't like. only seen as bad when a spouse does it??? lol.
#“just be more independent” trust me bro im trying#i raised by a mother who is still forcing me to be dependent on her#like.. dependence is a learned trait? and im trying to teach myself but its kidna hard when she combats it at every turn while yelling at me#abt how useless and codependent i am#it seems like whenever i talk about my situation people brush me off and say i have it good just becuz. she stopped hitting me young.#as if years of neglect to my well being and forced dependence and financial control havent fucked me up a bit lol??#like. no. i dont think my situation is normal or ok or healthy or good or pleasant. actually i hate it.#i dont know how tobdo fucking anything and when i try to ask for help learning people get mad at me for not fucking knowing and being scared#to try. as if i havent been kicked down by my mom every time ive tried to do things on my own.#idk ill shut up abt this now its just rlly upsetting that ppl like. dismiss what im going thru????
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have i mentioned lately that i fucking hate the council
#say what you want 'oh kenric/ Oralie/terik were nice' I DONT GIVE A SHIT#THEY HAVE CAUSED SO MANY PROBLEMS AND NONE OF THEM ARE BEING HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR IT#THE MOST UNREALISTIC THING IN THE SERIES IS THAT SHANNON TRIES TO SELL TO US THAT WYLIE WOULD AGREE TO JOIN TEAM VAILANT#AND HELP THE COUNCIL AFTER ALL THE SHIT HES BEEN PUT THROUGH BC OF THEM#OR HONESTLY ANY OF THEM TBH#ALMOST ALL OF THEM HAVE BEEN THREATENED TO BE EXILED AT LEAST ONCE#THESE GROWN ASS ADULTS ARE STANDING IN THEIR HIGH CHAIRS THREATINGING TO EXILE /CHILDREN/#THEY LOOKED /11 YEAR OLD/ LIHN IN THE EYE AND EXILED HER#THEY CAUSED FITZ TO BE FUCKING IMPALED BY A GIANT BUG#AND THEN BRUSHED IT OFF LIKE 'OH OOPS OUR BAD GUYS THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN'#THEY MADE DEX MAKE THE ABILITY BLOCKER AND THREATENED TO EXILE HIS WHOLE FAMILY IF HE DIDNT COMPLY#LIKE WHAT#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PRENTICE#ESPECIALLY SINCE WE KNOW THAT ORALIE KNEW THE TRUTH AND STILL DID NOTHING#'oh im one vote out of 12 what did you want me to do' YOU COULDVE STILL DONE MORE YOU PRACTICALLY HAD KENRIC WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER#I STILL THINK SHE CULDVE DONE MORE#THE COUNCIL DOESNT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO LEAD#12 HEADS OVER THERE AND NONE OF THEM HAS THE 2 BRAINCELLS NECESSARY TO THINK#'hey maybe we should stop focusing on exiling fucking children and start dealing with the terrorist organisation going around'#THATS NOT EVEN HALF OF IT IM#SSDBSFDHBFDSDFHFDHHDFHBSDFH#IM SO MAD FUCK THEM#FUCK THE COUNCIL#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc council#councillor oralie#councillor bronte#councillor terik#councillor kenric
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gotta be normal around people more and stop talking so fucking much but also. i need to speak about everything im thinking of or ill die. do you understand.
#fool's monologue#dude i got. man. dude.#i gotta stfu... i really gotta... but wheres the joy in that...#i was put on earth to be annoying#ALSO. WHILE IM HERE..#might start touting about a seniors discount... this guy.. <-#though i do gotta get better at showing that im listening and stuff#cuz i do know im listening i just dont show it very well? at least i dont think i do#i HOPE i do#but i understand it can come off like im brushing things off#even though i understand what someone said and am processin it i just aint say anything#i do gotta get better about that#i hate making people feel ignored and i really hope ive never done that to the people i care about u feel me#bitfunny. i had the opposite struggle as a kid#i never said enough i never made my opinion known abt anything and everything and id like#generally i didnt talk to nobody#now i CANT stfu#can i get an inbetween or..
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"your favorite player probably sucks and most likely is a shitty human being" i absolutely agree here, and it's a hard pill to swallow. but like... i don't like how we're supposed to just accept that and go on as normal? that doesn't mean we *shouldn't* be angry when they do turn out suck! like, they should still be held accountable one way or another! we shouldn't ignore it just because! it shouldn't *have* to be this way! also... i don't think we should be thinking "oh god what if my favorite guy sucks" every time we watch hockey! there's nothing wrong with expecting or wanting them to do better!
#like you should still be boycotting players/teams and spreading awareness!#dont become apathetic just because it's the “norm” (which... it shouldn't be!)#i know i post that meme about how your favorite team/player isn't immune to being awful (and how mine isnt either)#but im not saying that we shouldn't care. im saying to be more vigilant about the sport we enjoy and not brush off criticism#while also not letting our sense of justice interfere with the love of our sport#like you need to find that middle ground!#and if you can't find it... idk what to tell you tbh#hockey culture#hockey#rant#like i love patrick kane as a player. but im not gonna buy his jersey because he's not exactly the kind of person i wanna give my money to#and tj oshie! im still fucking devastated over his pro-[redacted] post#im still trying to come to terms with that but that said#im not gonna get rid of the bobblehead i already have of him and im still probably going to watch hockey highlights of him#(because i do believe there's a difference between idolizing/stanning a player and... just liking their play!)#although safe to say any plans i had of getting his jersey are in the trash now lol#anyways i promise this is my last post on this subject I SWEAR LMFAO
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i dont hate my job. but at the same time i hate my job.
#nurse made us put a lady to bed with 17 minutes left of the shift#said lady has severe dementia that has gotten significantly worse#couldnt even undress her without a physical fight#screaming shouting biting scratching#it was like she was possessed#and when we go to tell the nurse shes like ‘we know what shes like’#NO YOU DONT!!!!!!!#she needs a better home more suited to her specific needs#but the nurses just brush off everything we say#and im fucking sick of it#i do not get paid enough to be abused like this and then for the nurses to not give a shit#its not the lady’s fault at all of course i just wish the people who are supposed to be at the top in this fucking place woulf listen#so i ended my shift being really fucking pissed off#we had 1 minute left of the shift when we finished and she had the AUDACITY to ask us to fill out intervention charts and behaviour charts#fuck AAAAALLLLLLL the way off lmfao#No.
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wanting to start taking care of myself better but not wanting 8000 products and i just need somebody to explain to me like im dumb bc i never rly learned abt anything regarding taking care of appearance or hygiene (other than like. Shower is good and wash your hands KDNTJFN) i just dont know what all is like. actually necessary and what isnt and what is in some cases but not all and etc
#ive gathered ummm. i have a facewash i should get a moisturizer and maybe an exfoliating brush thing is good ?#and hair is where its scary bc i just do shampoo and conditioner and also this is extra hard bc i have trouble showering regularly bc of all#of thing so im like. i guess i need to get that in order rly before i start trying to figure out everything else#but jaircqre stuff scares me do i Need a dry conditioner or does hair corporation just want me to have dry conditioner. do i need serums or#is this fake..you.know#and i dont want a Routine thats like 800000 steps i need something simple that will make me feel nice and not take 8000 hours and i wont die#and esplode if i miss like. a day#whatever... and ik a lot of it is just trial and error and stuff which is why this was one of the things i was putting off til i have my own#job and such . i just dont know where to begin bc like. like how am i supposed to know What kind of moisturizer i should get for my skin#and it just says like Oh well just get one and then see how your skin reacts if x do a if y do b but like moisturizer is expensive isnt it#nd i Have my bday money to spend on it but still what do i do if like. the moisturizer i buy doesn't work and then i just have a whole thing#of moisturizer that doesnt work for me . i guess id offer it to annie or lampstie or mother or father or something but i dont know. i dont#have anybody else i could give it to and i dont Know what type skkn i have bc i dont understand#ig its dry i domt think its particularly pily#i have acne pretty much always its not super severe but i would like it gome forever and such#i need to get back on testosterone. Aughh its everything#its just hard bc trying to fjnd anything abt it is like the equivalent of just saying Show me every single advertisement im like how do i#make my hair look nice and every result is like HERES THE 8000 REASONS WHY YOU NEED TO TRIM YOUR BALLS HAIR OR YOURE GOING TO HELL! and its#like okay. um. scroll to next result YOU NEED THESE 293748484 CREAMS AND TINCTURES AND OINTMENTS OR YOURE A HIDEOUS PIG! okay. um. oink?
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